Jockey Appreciator Gifts

"I like the look of this steamer in the 2.30."

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

What's an Imax cave?

Stubborn Horse

Laughing Zone Ahead

Mohamed Salah

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

Florist. A vase for everything and everything in its vase.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

"I hope I'm not embarrassing you, Elaine... I guess I've always been a fool for love."

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

'I'm counter - intelligence'

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

First past the post.

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

OMG.

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

Medicine bottle - If symptoms persist, die!

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Split the last one?

Due to Global Warming Penguins have been Spotted Far from their Natural Habitat

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

"Calm down! That was a massive fart, NOT a sneeze!"

'I'd probably do a lot better if the teachers weren't set to 'auto-correct.''

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."