Jockey Aficionado Gifts

'Into the final furlong and still 'Morning Star' holds the lead...'

-Sorry, I was ill yesterday -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the 5th leg!

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Why do they do that?"

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

What's normal?

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

High Riders of the Old West

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

TPP - Investor State Dispute Settlement

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'God's speed.'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

Cheesie Rider

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

Cristiano Ronaldo

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Jack in the Box

'What's founder?'

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

First past the post.

'I have the result of your cost-benefit analysis. You should have retired four years ago.'

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."