Jockey Appreciator Pillows

"I like the look of this steamer in the 2.30."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

Stubborn Horse

Laughing Zone Ahead

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

"I hope I'm not embarrassing you, Elaine... I guess I've always been a fool for love."

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

'I'm counter - intelligence'

First past the post.

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"Calm down! That was a massive fart, NOT a sneeze!"

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

Medicine bottle - If symptoms persist, die!

Due to Global Warming Penguins have been Spotted Far from their Natural Habitat

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

OMG.

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

'I'd probably do a lot better if the teachers weren't set to 'auto-correct.''

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

Smart 3 Piece Suite.