Jock Enthusiasts Pillows

"So how's that math grade looking? What's the team GPA this year?"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"Eat me"

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"Amateurs."

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

Higher wisdom...

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

"How long have you lived in this gym?"

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

'Yes, I do a lot of rowing. How could you tell?'

"So, if the Pope is pious, what kind of pie is he... apple?"

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

Creating dummy corporations for dummies.

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

'Inside Ralph is a comedienne crying to get out.'