Job Search Hero Gifts

"Your resume shows you have had numerous jobs and in all of them you were rather invisible."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

Caged Businessman

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

'You're on the shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

Help wanted!...Ace Software, Inc...Video Game Tournament...Top 5 players get hired!

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'Sorry - The position has already been filled."

Running Latte

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

'If he has a pulse, hire him!'

"You need to work on your self-esteem but you're probably too stupid for that as well."

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

'You'll be starting out at the bottom.'

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

Bring It On!

'Do you have an appointment?'

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

Branch Manager Interviews: "Who's next?"

"...and before that, I was an embryo."

"Your CV is amazing. The boss would love you. So unfortunately you've been unsuccessful in your application."

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

Union organizer in a hostile workplace. . .

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

'You've impressed the interview panel, but our handwriting analyst has determined that you're insane.'

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

'You're a good first draft. We would like to see a finished version.'

'This is a very impressive resume. Did you pad it yourself.'