Job Search Hero Pillows

"Your resume shows you have had numerous jobs and in all of them you were rather invisible."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

Caged Businessman

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

'You're on the shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

Help wanted!...Ace Software, Inc...Video Game Tournament...Top 5 players get hired!

'Sorry - The position has already been filled."

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

Running Latte

'If he has a pulse, hire him!'

"You need to work on your self-esteem but you're probably too stupid for that as well."

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

'You'll be starting out at the bottom.'

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

Bring It On!

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

Union organizer in a hostile workplace. . .

'Do you have an appointment?'

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

Branch Manager Interviews: "Who's next?"

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

"...and before that, I was an embryo."

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

"Your CV is amazing. The boss would love you. So unfortunately you've been unsuccessful in your application."

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

'You've impressed the interview panel, but our handwriting analyst has determined that you're insane.'

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

'Any awards or honors?'

'You're a good first draft. We would like to see a finished version.'