Job Hunting Hero Pillows

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

On paper, all applicants were very impressive. . . but clearly some were more experienced than others!

'I had to quit my job at the colander factory. I couldn't take the strain.'

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

Caged Businessman

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

'You're on the shortlist. It's between you and the bloke who's going to get the job.'

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

Running Latte

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

Help wanted!...Ace Software, Inc...Video Game Tournament...Top 5 players get hired!

'Sorry - The position has already been filled."

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

'If he has a pulse, hire him!'

'You'll be starting out at the bottom.'

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

'Do you have an appointment?'

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

"...and before that, I was an embryo."

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

"'Can correctly complete a CAPTCHA image 8 our of 10 times.' Any other skills?"

Branch Manager Interviews: "Who's next?"

Union organizer in a hostile workplace. . .

'What about the rolls you promised me?'

"Your CV is amazing. The boss would love you. So unfortunately you've been unsuccessful in your application."

"Your resume shows you have had numerous jobs and in all of them you were rather invisible."

'You've impressed the interview panel, but our handwriting analyst has determined that you're insane.'