Job Hunt Warrior Pillows

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Help wanted. Various positions available.

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'You don't want the job, do you?'

'Have you got a resume?'

"I enjoyed your resume, young man - especially the hand-written addendum from your mom."

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

'Mr. Barnes was going to interview you for the job, until he realized you were actually expecting financial compensation, benefits and vacation time.'

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

Your resume is only 8 words long! You're hired!

"You're overqualified. Could you dumb it down a little?"

"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

"Do you have any other qualities to offer apart from loyalty?"

"Now I don't want to alarm you, but are you familiar with the term 'On the scrapheap'!"

'I'm afraid of being left behind.'

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

'For a raise you must apply in person to our Bombay office...'

"You have excellent academic credentials and a wonderful work history but we try not to profile people."

"Any other strengths?"