Aspiring Job Hero Pillows

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

Businesswoman Empowerment

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

Caged Businessman

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

Running Latte

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

'If he has a pulse, hire him!'

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

'...we are looking for someone with great interpersonal communication skills.'

"...and before that, I was an embryo."

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

Branch Manager Interviews: "Who's next?"

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

"We do price loyalty, but we were also rather hoping for a candidate who could read right and walk on two legs."

'Do you have an appointment?'

Union organizer in a hostile workplace. . .

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

"Your resume shows you have had numerous jobs and in all of them you were rather invisible."

'You've impressed the interview panel, but our handwriting analyst has determined that you're insane.'

'W e e e l l . . . my mum says I'm good at testing the patience of saints'

'This is a very impressive resume. Did you pad it yourself.'

'So far, so good -- I got a second interview!'

'Any awards or honors?'

Office Woman

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

'Impressive résumé. Any character references, mom?'

'Would you cart to explain this three page gap in your resume?'