Job Hunt Hero Gifts

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

Businesswoman Empowerment

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

Caged Businessman

"You inhabit the body of someone who has an impressive résumé."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

Running Latte

'Sorry - The position has already been filled."

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

Help wanted!...Ace Software, Inc...Video Game Tournament...Top 5 players get hired!

'If he has a pulse, hire him!'

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

'...the job is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing.'

'...we are looking for someone with great interpersonal communication skills.'

Union organizer in a hostile workplace. . .

"Your CV is amazing. The boss would love you. So unfortunately you've been unsuccessful in your application."

'What about the rolls you promised me?'

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

Branch Manager Interviews: "Who's next?"

"We do price loyalty, but we were also rather hoping for a candidate who could read right and walk on two legs."

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

"...and before that, I was an embryo."

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

"'Can correctly complete a CAPTCHA image 8 our of 10 times.' Any other skills?"

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

'Do you have an appointment?'

"Your resume shows you have had numerous jobs and in all of them you were rather invisible."

'You've impressed the interview panel, but our handwriting analyst has determined that you're insane.'

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"