Job Roles Gifts

"I'm a hunter, gathering isn't in my job description."

'Mrs Sparby realized she didn't have the right personality to be a receptionist, but she was able to improvise and keep her job.'

"I see the downsizing continues."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

"Sorry, Foster, but I'm letting you go. I just downloaded the 'Scapegoat' app."

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"