Job Gifts

Career chart: you are here...you should be here.

'Harris, I want to know what you really think - but be careful.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"It's his first day back at work."

When Policy Fails, Try Thinking.

It's to stop you getting side-tracked.

'He has a weak character. Notice how easily he lets his work distract him?'

'Hard day at the office, dear?'

Before we discuss your request for a raise, here are the latest unemployment statistics.

Workaholic

Working 9 to 5.

I tried sleeping last week, but it was so relaxing I couldn't get much done.

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

BUS, 'I don't hate Mondays -- I FEAR Mondays!'

'Attention all employees. This is all.'

I like you Roger:- you've got sticktoitiveness.

"What time is it mentally?"

'I'm prepared to offer you a raise... if you work hard!' 'I knew there'd be a catch!'

Man running from desk: 'I can't seem to get away from my work lately.'

Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Where your mind & battle are los

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

Butterfly Woman

'Let's not go by the book.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."