Job Gifts

Career chart: you are here...you should be here.

'Harris, I want to know what you really think - but be careful.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"It's his first day back at work."

When Policy Fails, Try Thinking.

It's to stop you getting side-tracked.

'He has a weak character. Notice how easily he lets his work distract him?'

'Hard day at the office, dear?'

Before we discuss your request for a raise, here are the latest unemployment statistics.

Workaholic

Working 9 to 5.

I tried sleeping last week, but it was so relaxing I couldn't get much done.

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

BUS, 'I don't hate Mondays -- I FEAR Mondays!'

'Attention all employees. This is all.'

"What time is it mentally?"

'I'm prepared to offer you a raise... if you work hard!' 'I knew there'd be a catch!'

Man running from desk: 'I can't seem to get away from my work lately.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Where your mind & battle are los

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'How fast can you hype?'