Job Responsibility Gifts

"Congratulations! You are now in charge of taking all the blame in case of this company's failure!"

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

The Buck Never Stops.

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

'So, now we have ascertained who is responsible...'

"I see the downsizing continues."

Working 9 to 5.

Sales.

'As my subordinate, naturally I expect you to take the heat on things that otherwise would make me uncomfortable.'

The Female Brain and The Other One

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

"If we're a team, the manager should take the heat!"

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

It's to stop you getting side-tracked.

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

Man running from desk: 'I can't seem to get away from my work lately.'

'We're looking for someone who's very responsible. In fact, we're looking for someone who's always responsible.'

'You have only yourself to blame for blaming yourself.'

He calls it 'delegating authority' I call it 'passing the buck'

"Trust me, you don't want this job."

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

"Your first thirty days is a probationary period. Following that, we'll review your performance and consider giving you a cubicle with a door!"

I like you Roger:- you've got sticktoitiveness.

'In this company, you're either 'Employee-of-the-Month' or you're fired.'

"What time is it mentally?"

Business cartoon showing a business man headed toward 'blame'.

'This new role will involve some extra responsibilities...of course you'll appreciate that there won't be any extra funding...it's a role for which you are uniquely qualified!'

'He has a weak character. Notice how easily he lets his work distract him?'

Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.

'Your performance has been a steady boat in a sea of change.'

Workaholic

When Policy Fails, Try Thinking.

'Fantastic chance to show what you can do...resources are of course stretched...we'd be very grateful.'

'I'm prepared to offer you a raise... if you work hard!' 'I knew there'd be a catch!'