Job Market Followers Gifts

"Why did you turn down the Easter bunny job?"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

The Three Wise Queens

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"And where have you previously moused?"

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

Between Offices

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

'Your resume seems in order, Mr. Lupo, but would you explain exactly why you want to work here> Mr. Lupo...?

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"I'm looking for a position in a less competitive market."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

Ace headhunters.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

Impressive qualifications, but seeing as how I'm trying to fill the position I just fired you from...

'You wiseaces who said, this factory would move to China are wrong! It's moving to India!'

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

"These are excellent qualifications... so good that our largest competitor would gladly pay you twice as much."