Jewish Foodie Gifts

Sleeping with the Gefilta fish

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

Night of the Latkes

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

Oymoticons

Jewish Geometry

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

'Hard to follow...'

Jeff's Smorgasbord

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

"You grab the food—I'll grab the wine."

"Bill just does celebrity cook-books these days, that's where the real money is."

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Holy Macaroni,

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

'I've got another loose tooth - It's not your cooking is it mum?'

Non-wall St merger: Mom's Home Cooking...Pop's Cafe!

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

'Would that be rare, or medium rare?'

"When a man is tired of pasta, sir, he is tired of life. Dr. Johnson."

Alternative Dickens: Oliver, having received more, requests a doggy bag.

'I enjoyed the deviled ham, the deviled eggs and the devil's food cake, but we need a menu more in tune with our mission.'

"With any entrée, you get unlimited access to the trough."

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

"First, do no ham."

Isaac Newton discovered gravity and his neighbour Wilbus discovered Apple Sauce.

"Glad I had a pretzel before leaving the house; I'd hate to drink all that on an empty stomach."

'It really is nice to eat out once in a while!'