Jewish Culture Lovers Gifts

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

"According to tradition, we now welcome the 'Ushpizin', the holy guest, Avraham into our Succah."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Oymoticons

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Christmas sweater alternatives

Did you find our menorah?

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"What happened to the good old Jewish holidays when all we used to do was eat?"

'What, They're comfortable.'

"'Frankenstein' is Jewish. I'm Irish on my mother's side because she was green, and an 'O' Houligan'..."

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

"First, do no ham."

The Exobus

"In 200 cubits, right-turn, then stay on the current road..."

'I'll let your people go, but making kosher box lunches for them is out of the question!'

"You think you're brave? I read Hebrew in front of a live audience."

'Not only did he say I can circumcise him, but he also said there'll be six more weeks of winter.'

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Joe's Bar: Sorry, closed to the public due to on-premises 'Bar Mitzvah'.

"Listen, you'll take another break after Deuteronomy and I'll make you some chicken noodle soup."

"May your year be pear-fect."

"Together we are superspreaders of light!"

'The manna? Oh, the manna is great -- Now, about our housing problem....'

'What luck. It's Kosher.'

Safer Torah

"I don't care if it's his new year, that's my honey!"

Torah-nosaurus Rex

'Hi. I'm Rabbi Feldman, and I'll be your mohel this evening.'