Jewish Culture Aficionados Gifts

Existential Dreidel

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Oymoticons

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Christmas sweater alternatives

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Did you find our menorah?

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"What happened to the good old Jewish holidays when all we used to do was eat?"

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'What, They're comfortable.'

"'Frankenstein' is Jewish. I'm Irish on my mother's side because she was green, and an 'O' Houligan'..."

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

"First, do no ham."

The Exobus

"In 200 cubits, right-turn, then stay on the current road..."

"You think you're brave? I read Hebrew in front of a live audience."

'I'll let your people go, but making kosher box lunches for them is out of the question!'

'Not only did he say I can circumcise him, but he also said there'll be six more weeks of winter.'

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Joe's Bar: Sorry, closed to the public due to on-premises 'Bar Mitzvah'.

"Listen, you'll take another break after Deuteronomy and I'll make you some chicken noodle soup."

"May your year be pear-fect."

"Together we are superspreaders of light!"

'The manna? Oh, the manna is great -- Now, about our housing problem....'

'What luck. It's Kosher.'

Safer Torah

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

Torah-nosaurus Rex

"I don't care if it's his new year, that's my honey!"

'Hi. I'm Rabbi Feldman, and I'll be your mohel this evening.'

'I create them, I liberate them from Egypt, I give them manna, and now they want me to make the sun stand still!'