Jewelry Jester Pillows

'My Medic-Alert bracelet is turning my arm green!'

Fashionable intelligence - 'Oh! here's a go! blowed if I ain't lost my ring!'

Cow Piercing.

"We're following Carrot Top."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

'We recommend that you get a ring of equal weight for the other hand to prevent improper alignment of your spine.'

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"Wheeeeeeee!"

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

Tennis ball girl.

'With this ring I thee dropped it -'

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

Will you be mine?

I think I have a gilt complex.

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

"Mum, I've heard that Faberge eggs are very valuable. What kind of animal is a Faberge?"

"I need something that says ‘You were right about Trump.’"