Jetlag Recovery Pillows

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"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Spa

Barbeque Casualty.

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

Big slipper.

A robot is in hospital, he has a card saying 'get welded soon.'

'What's for desert?'

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

'Okay darlin' if you need more whipped cream just hit the red button.'

'You're looking well.'

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Kid in hospital has I.V. in him that is a straw.

'You can stop worrying about your husband Mrs.Dellrow...He's going to be fine,now that we have him in a stable condition.'