Jet Lag Survivor Pillows

"Damn it, Henderson, New York is still three hours ahead of us. Get on that!"

"I don't know what's so funny. All I asked was whether this was their only flight today."

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

'You see, I'm allergic to dog dander....'

Man sneezes and blows flowers out of painting.

'Sounds like another sat nav mistake, you had better put the kettle on dear!'

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

"I'm afraid there's just so far you can go with street smarts."

"Yeah, it's a drag, but the only flight I could get was a red-eye."

"Oops! Sorry! Clocks forward, clocks back, immigration,migration. . . I never know whether I'm coming or going!"

Asthma cats

"What makes you think you have cabin fever?"

"It's OK, it's just pee."

Seniority Scanner App

"I screamed for ice cream and all I got was 15 minutes in the Time Out chair."

If you're reading this, your sat nav system has failed.

Waiting and waiting and waiting room

Poor kid can't move. Parka-plegic.

'Tough winter.'

Hay Fever Preventives.

'I decided not to migrate because I get jet lag.'

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

"This is a fine time to discover you have an egg allergy, Fiona!"

'This could get tricky, sir — your luggage accidentally went to Ralph Nader!'

Winter Surrender

"I can't take winter anymore!"

"Hi, scheduling? I've only got 60 seconds, so I'll make this quick..."

'It's worse than I thought, you've got a peanut allergy.'

'Well, I don't know how you managed to mistake poison ivy for a fig leaf!'

'If it's jet lag when I fly east, why isn't it jet lead when I fly west?'