Jet Lag Jokes Pillows

Crew Quiet Rooms

Carefree luggage.

Cow Blue Arrows

Vampire on a plane

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

"How's my tripping you up?"

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

Cow Pilot.

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

"I don't know what's so funny. All I asked was whether this was their only flight today."

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

Two birds refuel.

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

Baggage Reclaim

"Yeah, it's a drag, but the only flight I could get was a red-eye."

Sometimes they need the oxygen mask after they see the new baggage fees.

"There it is again, that tapping..."

Galley Christmas

'Wait, what's that on runway one?...Ok I got it, just another one of those budget carriers.'

"Oops! Sorry! Clocks forward, clocks back, immigration,migration. . . I never know whether I'm coming or going!"

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

'You've got to admire their candor.'

"Damn it, Henderson, New York is still three hours ahead of us. Get on that!"

Sydney Airport - passengers called Barry, Sheila and Skippy.

"It means I don’t give a flying fuck."

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000. Go ahead and take your seat!'

The Rev. Wright Brothers