Jet Lag Jokes Pillows

Crew Quiet Rooms

Carefree luggage.

Cow Blue Arrows

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

Vampire on a plane

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

"How's my tripping you up?"

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"I don't know what's so funny. All I asked was whether this was their only flight today."

Cow Pilot.

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

Two birds refuel.

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

"There it is again, that tapping..."

"Yeah, it's a drag, but the only flight I could get was a red-eye."

"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."

Baggage Reclaim

'Wait, what's that on runway one?...Ok I got it, just another one of those budget carriers.'

Galley Christmas

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

"Oops! Sorry! Clocks forward, clocks back, immigration,migration. . . I never know whether I'm coming or going!"

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

'You've got to admire their candor.'

"Damn it, Henderson, New York is still three hours ahead of us. Get on that!"

Sydney Airport - passengers called Barry, Sheila and Skippy.

The Rev. Wright Brothers

'Welcome to crash-test flight 000. Go ahead and take your seat!'

"There! Just like new!"

"It means I don’t give a flying fuck."