Jet Fuel Efficiency Advocate Gifts

'Our efforts to be rude impersonal, overpriced and inconvenient has made us leaders in jet fuel efficiency.'

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

'Are we broke yet?'

' Can I borrow change for the bus? With the cost of gas, I just can't justify buzzing around the city in that thing.'

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

Cars feeding at a gas tanker on the side of the road

Underwater on the Car

Natural gas

Windmill Maintenance

The Heating Oil Problem.

I think I can...

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

'Fuel efficiency? I get about three times around the block on a peanut butter sandwich.'

'How is it on gas? I was afraid you were going to ask me that.'

May or May not be Hazardous Material...

Used Cars. Think of it this way --- As things fall off, the miles per gallon go up!

'So like, what's your monkey man?'

You need a bigger car/You need a smaller car.

Please don't run out of gas...

"It means a chieftain tank of petrol."

EPA Gas Mileage Tests

"No, I don't have one that runs on Ramen Noodles."

"U.S. Imports of foreign fuel are down, Putin's angry rhetoric is up, U.S. gas prices are up, Russian fuel exports are down. . ."

Sports futility vehicles

'ALP Electric Company'

New Bulb Saves Energy.

Sorry, what did you say? This new double glazing will be good for noise reduction!

'It's kind of disappointing that they make solar energy panels.'

Zero Fuel Taxis

'The miles per gallon it gets for city driving is an urban legend.'

"I get about 5 miles to the gallon, my wife and son get the rest"

The Gas Guzzler

"I've tried everything, but my gas mileage is terrible."

'How much to let the fenders out a little?'

Power corrupts & oil-shortage power corrupts absolutely