Fuel Efficiency Futurist Gifts

Laugh all you want -- I get great mileage!

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

'Are we broke yet?'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

' Can I borrow change for the bus? With the cost of gas, I just can't justify buzzing around the city in that thing.'

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

Cars feeding at a gas tanker on the side of the road

Bio Fuels.

I think I can...

"We're not certain why they disappeared, but archeologists speculate that it may have had something to do with their size."

"It was $78 but that was when you started filling, it's $96 Now."

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

Short Memories

'How is it on gas? I was afraid you were going to ask me that.'

May or May not be Hazardous Material...

You need a bigger car/You need a smaller car.

Used Cars. Think of it this way --- As things fall off, the miles per gallon go up!

Peak Oil - 'Are we there yet, Dad?'

'It is fuel efficient, but my ego feels crunched.'

The New Modern-Day Lament.

"Make it a gallon and a half. I'm living one day at a time."

Pot of Gold...

"U.S. Imports of foreign fuel are down, Putin's angry rhetoric is up, U.S. gas prices are up, Russian fuel exports are down. . ."

EPA Gas Mileage Tests

"When are you gonna tell him he's in the protest convoy and not a queue for petrol?"

'This one get 40 miles per gallon.'

Sports futility vehicles

'America uses 20 million barrels of oil a day. Our profits are up, but is it sustainable? Will consumers run out of money?'

"It means a chieftain tank of petrol."

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning an SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

"No, I don't have one that runs on Ramen Noodles."

Zero Fuel Taxis

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

Oil on Mars.

"You're not going anywhere to drill for oil - I have the keys to the truck!"