Jester Joker Pillows

"I hate alternative jesters !"

'Say something funny,'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Joust Sharpener

Get crazy once in a while

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"#notguilty."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

Women in a cross country race

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Wheeeeeeee!"

Yawning barristers in court

Tennis ball girl.

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'He started it!'