Jelly Guru Gifts

Jelly magazines

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Domestic Superheroes!!

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

On the back of the t-shirt...

Muscles

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'He made an excellent jelly.'

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

Barbecuing Aprons For Today's Guys

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."