Jelly Guru T-Shirts

Jelly magazines

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"How can you be out of wings?"

Domestic Superheroes!!

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

On the back of the t-shirt...

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

Muscles

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"I've just barbecued my head again."

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

Barbecuing Aprons For Today's Guys

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'He made an excellent jelly.'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

French wine