Jealous Journeyer Gifts

'I want to go to my co-worker's secret vacation spot - it's warm, the sand is silver, and the ocean there is the color of Fred Yomp's eyes.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

The Lost World: You are Here

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

"Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

The Paper Route

'The meaning of life? sorry, I can only answer 'true or false' questions.'

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

Filling up.

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

Fishing Contest

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

'Dress it up any way you want, it's still just doing laundry.'

'Our fifteenth anniversary -- the adventure continues!'

Alf and Misery Guts

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with worrying that you forget something."

Bike Rides

'My wife insisted I stop and ask someone for directions. Could you just pretend you're giving them to me?'

"Lest we forget, dear Tenzing, it's about the journey and not the destination."

Road sign reads; 'Welcome to First Impression. Lasting Impression Next 3 Exits.'

A person thinking happy thoughts that insulate him from the gloom around him

'Wow, a sixty-four arrow quiver with built-in sharpener! I'm so jealous.' (First day at archery school.)

Letting Go

Jealous of a statue.

'Oi! Take your eyes off 'im - he's my bitch!'

Bike Rides

"I thought I knew Venice quite well, but I don't recognise any of this at all."