Jailbird Joke Lover Pillows

"It's taken us three years to tunnel out with these spoons... I was only sentenced to six months in the first place!"

"White Collar Prison"

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

'Smooth move -- Now we're in REAL trouble!'

'Sure I do bad things, but I do them in moderation.'

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

"Miss Robins, get me a ladder and a hacksaw, if you will, please."

Man in arrow suit - 'I'm in for white collar crime.'

''Where do you see yourself in five years'? That's a stupid question! You know darn well I'll be finishing 5-years of a 25-year sentence!'

'I made good money - until they added colour to the twenty dollar bills.'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'It's best if you take it one day at a time.'

"The bad news is Lady Sybil has died in childbirth. On the other hand, Bates is back home and Tom's sticking around to help run the estate."

Love in prison.

'MY doctor says I don't get out enough!'

'It was sort of like a penalty for early withdrawal. The bank hadn't opened yet.'

'Look on the bright side -- we could still be in the MARKET.'

'Your mother reckons you look like your baby photos now without your dandruff, dear.'

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

'So what's your recommendation? I suggest a tunnel.'

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"