Jailbird Jokers Pillows

"What a couple of clucks we are. Here's another mistake right up here."

Prison Calendar

Prison Escape Plot

"I took the money and ran, but unfortunately, not fast enough."

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

"White Collar Prison"

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

"Regards from the kids, grandma, mom and pop, uncle Fred , Aunt Theresa and cousins Harvey, Flo and Niki. They all want to know where you hid the loot."

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

'Smooth move -- Now we're in REAL trouble!'

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

'Sure I do bad things, but I do them in moderation.'

''Where do you see yourself in five years'? That's a stupid question! You know darn well I'll be finishing 5-years of a 25-year sentence!'

"Miss Robins, get me a ladder and a hacksaw, if you will, please."

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

'I made good money - until they added colour to the twenty dollar bills.'

'The Not so Great Escape.'

'It's best if you take it one day at a time.'

Love in prison.

"The bad news is Lady Sybil has died in childbirth. On the other hand, Bates is back home and Tom's sticking around to help run the estate."

'It was sort of like a penalty for early withdrawal. The bank hadn't opened yet.'

'MY doctor says I don't get out enough!'

'Look on the bright side -- we could still be in the MARKET.'

'Your mother reckons you look like your baby photos now without your dandruff, dear.'

'When I said 'I'm breaking out,' I meant that the food here is messing with my acne.'

'I've been a burglar, a blackmailer, a mugger, and an armed robber, but by gosh I've never been a LAWYER!'

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

'So what's your recommendation? I suggest a tunnel.'

"I believe thr guv'nor used to own a boarding house in Blackpool."

"It's no good you hiding, Whacker. Your release date's today and that's final!"

Con Artist.

'There. Now you have the job security you've always wanted.'

"The judge offered me a deal. Here for 30 days or a colonoscopy prep."