Jacket Collector Pillows

"What can you tell me about this book's jacket?"

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

Utility Chic.

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

Hell's Anglers

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

"Mine, I believe, is the Green Jacket."

Wilfried Zaha

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'Anyone else would be satisfied with one coat, but not you!'

Traffic Jam

Joseph, returns his coat of many colours: 'Can I exchange this? It clashes with everything?'

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

Time to put away your presents. I don't have room. You said you "needed" a new jacket. I do! My old one's too small. Donate it. I would. But I can't get it out of my closet.

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

"With company-wide layoffs imminent I realized it was a matter of self-preservation."

"It's a midriff warmer."

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

The evolution of a woman's purse.

Luka Modric

"I'm having my annual reunion with Polartec, Thinsulate, fleece, and my oldest friend, wool."

Bad Outfit Alarm.

"Is it just me or does the dog seem calmer since you got it that new collar?"