Life Jacket Collector Pillows

Penguin in a life jacket.

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

Geekasaurus.

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

Hell's Anglers

Wilfried Zaha

'Anyone else would be satisfied with one coat, but not you!'

Traffic Jam

Joseph, returns his coat of many colours: 'Can I exchange this? It clashes with everything?'

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

"With company-wide layoffs imminent I realized it was a matter of self-preservation."

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

"I'm having my annual reunion with Polartec, Thinsulate, fleece, and my oldest friend, wool."

Bad Outfit Alarm.

'It's goose down!'

Life is just four letters...

American footballers with numbers correlating to their size.

Go Britain!

Campaign for real beer bellies.

'So I guess your mom was cold this morning.'

"Mom! Are these capri pants, or did I just get taller?"

"I wouldn’t say ‘fat,’ per se, but it isn’t particularly slimming."

A Businessman in a camo suit

'The decision is strictly up to you, Walter...I'll only tell you which ones you can't have.'