Jacket Collector Gifts

"What can you tell me about this book's jacket?"

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

Utility Chic.

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

Hell's Anglers

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

Wilfried Zaha

'Anyone else would be satisfied with one coat, but not you!'

Joseph, returns his coat of many colours: 'Can I exchange this? It clashes with everything?'

Traffic Jam

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

The evolution of a woman's purse.

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

"With company-wide layoffs imminent I realized it was a matter of self-preservation."

"It's a midriff warmer."

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

"I'm having my annual reunion with Polartec, Thinsulate, fleece, and my oldest friend, wool."

"Is it just me or does the dog seem calmer since you got it that new collar?"

Bad Outfit Alarm.

American footballers with numbers correlating to their size.