It Training Gifts

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

Computer Room.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

Overjumpers

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"It seems as if the people taking my software class are getting younger and younger."

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

Dog tricks. 'He's doing it right now. Dudley dreams in Technocolor!'

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Shake! Good Dog."

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

Computer Expert

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."