It Systems Gifts

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'It just doesn't get any beta than this.'

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

"The technology's in place, now all we have to do is misuse it."

"If the goat's giblets float to the top...about £350,000."

'I know we're supposed to get rid of 'superbugs', but ours is the only one that understands the IT system!'

"I know we were meant to get rid of the 'superbugs' but he's the only one that understands the IT systems."

'It's not the we're against performance targets, it's just that we have our own.'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

How corporate data wizards decide it's time to re-vamp everything...

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

The Anti-Agent

"My email is down... talk to me."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Lynching on social media

"Welcome to the future"

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Robot Parts $5

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

In the Guru District

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."