It Crowd Chucklers Gifts

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'Hey, hey, hey!'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

Birds doing the 'wave'.

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Marmalade the Cheetah on stilts.

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

"He has encolosed the money as an attachment so we just have to print it out...!"

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

'Bless you!'

Lady to man with many birds: 'You would have to buy a mimic!'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

You Will Eat A Fortune Cookie.

-What did the carrot say to the onion? -What? -Nothing, vegetables don't talk!

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

"There's only one of them roaming around now. The others are in self-isolation."

Giraffe watching open air cinema without paying.

"Will you help me round up my 38 sheep?" Yes, 40.

Clancy: Forthright Opinions

"Let's just agree that they're dolphins, not sharks. I don't want to fall out with you."

'Do these burgers taste funny to you?'

'The four scariest words in the English language.'

'You just stood there and let them put a bell on you? -- What were you THINKING?'

Bad ideas...texting your Valentine message.