Culture Chuckles Gifts

You Will Eat A Fortune Cookie.

"The subwoofers really help."

I have decided that all future board meetings will be held before lunch.

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"Hey, Zorro! You forgot your mask."

The Big Four debate banking ethics

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'Scoutmasters aren't usually used as references.'

Marmalade the Cheetah on stilts.

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

Keister Island

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

'What do you mean you're a vegetarian?'

'I don't know. I woke up with it after preaching last weeks sermon...'

'Yes, I did receive your resume. As a matter of fact, I'm passing it around the office as we speak.'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

"Happy Hump Day!"

'Do I need a pin number to make a withdrawal?'

"You've got mail! Also, Time, CNN, HBO, ICQ, Warner Bros, Netscape, Sports Illustrated. . . . ."

"When dealing with Americans, refer to the heat in Celsius. They hate that."

"If I need to stop smoking and lose weight...what are you going to do about it?"

"Kfetch!"

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Book Burp

What?… (No caption. One viking drinks a tropical drink from a fruity cup, while other vikings drink grog from mugs.)

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

"I paid twelve quid for this and it only mentions nine!"

"I'm a green thief."

... I want you to sit in and keep prompting me not to swear.

"Some say the world will end in noodles, some say in rice."

Hello, you have reached the Johnsons. All of our family members are currently busy sharing the events of their day. Please continue to hold, and the next available 4-year-old will be with you shortly. Machines Programmed for Telemarketers.

'Would you mind moving your feet about, I don't want the vegetables to catch?'

"We'll drop the disturbing the peace charge if he pleads no contest to indecent exposure."

'I call my car 'Bonnie Tyler'. . . Nah - it keeps making funny rasping noises and is getting on a bit.'

'The sonar finds underwater structure. You watch out for surface structure.'