Is An Instruction Manual Skeptic Pillows

Apparently, there are manuals, and then there are MANUALS.

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

New from Low-Key Press.

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'That's not what it looked like in the shop...' - 'It's near enough.'

'My philosophy has always been, sell advice, don't follow it.'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

Junk Stamps For Junk Mail.

Egomaniacs Anonymous - "There's nothing anonymous about me!"

Older cousin press

"Do not bury yourself alive if allergic to burying yourself alive."

'Self-help books for cynics'

'I haven't been trying for years and look where it's gotten me.'

"I think I've spotted your problem."

Success Without Effort

'I did it the hard way. No self-improvement books.'

'Thank goodness, the publishers rejected my self help book.'

Down with Chicken Soup Books

"These are just the directions to the remote. The directions to the TV are much longer. Technology!"

'What shall I do with these old books of yours? '

'Bucky's new book, I think.'

Self Help ...Beg, Borrow, and Steal

"It's my personal, one step recipe for success. Step 1: Gimme all your money."

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

"I'm thinking of skipping the holidays this year, in protest." "Very good, little buddy." "I see you've read chapter 7 of 'Randy "the Rock" Taylor's Guide to Winning Respect'." "Become an admirable person by sacrificing something meaningful to you, in order to help others achieve something meaningful to them." "I'm very proud of you, young grasshopper." "I'm protesting the fact that I can't shop at H&M on Thanksgiving 'cause they'll be closed."

'We'd like to return it. There wasn't any on-screen chemistry between us.'

"How to spot a rip-off" Save thousands! Only £120

I'm away from my desk. Any message you leave won't be of any importance to me.

Video Horse Shoes.