Irs Humorist Gifts

'I've been through your tax return and for the minute there's nothing to worry about.'

'Paperwork just lacked that personal touch, don't you agree?'

We Shall Overcome

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"I've downloaded an app to hire and fire people."

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

'I wish I could fire people as well as Donald Trump.'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

'The really scary part is that he is the new head of human resources.'

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

"The firm is always appointed above competence levels, you topped out at paperclip."

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

"I'm sure he's a fine boy, but we prefer interviewing your son in person."

'There's new evidence that my departure from my previous employer merely coincided with their brain drain.'

'Here's your report card... I mean, review.'

"Tony and Stephanie are from Iowa."

The job interview was more thorough than roger had anticipated.

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

Visual gag (the real Mona Lisa behind the scenes).

"I was sick - sick in Hawaii."

'Human resources gave us the idea of trying 'blind interviewing'...'

"I've never trusted cows."

'It's part of our new staff retention policy!'