Irs Frequenter Gifts

'I thought we always had a deal.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

"Did you ask for the large print edition?"

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Business-Class.

Professor McWit, crushed by an avalanche of Philosophy 101 texts, proves again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

Tax Collector

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

Please be seated. A jack booted government thug will be with you shortly.

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'

'Then he smiled and his very last words were 'Now the inland revenue will never find out!''