Ironing King Gifts

"I've starched your trousers, so you can't fall over when you come out of the pub."

Domestic Superheroes!!

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Surprise!"

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

Ironing day.

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

The Unhappy King

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

The Royal Wii

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

"I'm right here. Focused!"

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

"Hello?"

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"