Ice King Gifts

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

'No ice.'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

Exercise Class

Running

Hockey Season.

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

The Unhappy King

Cake

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

Like father like son.

Man running

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

The Royal Wii

Ice Fly-Fishing with Doug

I LOVE YOU IN ICING

'Dear, could you hold it down to a light snow flurry?'

'What, you afraid of a little exercise?'

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

'I use these ice cubes to make minor home repairs.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

Nordic Career-Trak

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'