Ironically Prepared People Gifts

Lecture on Chaos Theory delayed because the speaker dropped his notes.

"The key to success is knowing what people want. Too bad it isn't knowing what people don't want."

Al, The Go-From Guy

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

Death Takes A Time-Share

There were times when Ralph wished god didn't move in such mysterious ways.

Devil worried because he feels good

"I'm sending you to someone who's less squeamish."

"Sit still why I explain why exercise is important."

A well-balanced meal to a kid is a candy bar in each hand.

"You see, I told you it was worth the climb! Your first 'bird's eye view'. . ."

Condom Delivery

"And then in Italy Giovanni has found his soulmate"

Fitness Centre: Out for a Run Back in 3 Hours

"What I'll miss most is his indefatigable optimism."

Walk the dog.

Trying to thumb his nose at authority, Lumpy stuck his thumb in his eye! Man covering eye with his hand.

'Gloria, I want you to meet my significant other.'

Later that night, Tim crept into Andy's cave and coconutted him to death.

"Honey, it's me. Listen, I'm having second thoughts on fish for dinner."

"They're veggie hot dogs but don't worry—they're made in a really gross way."

'Maybe now you'll admit that we're lost!?'

Southwest Hampton

'At the end of the day, I always feel I could have done less!'

'I think I'm right for this job because I'm a real people person. Now, are you going to hire me or not? I don't have all freakin' day!'

"I feel like a hypocrite writing a report on the Green Revolution. My trust fund portfolio has oil, mining, and tobacco stocks."

"I was going to discuss procrastination today, but I'm feeling rather tired. Maybe we could finish this off next week."

Sounds of Gridlock.

Diet.

Fast food