Ironically Injured Gifts

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Basketball injuries.

'I know just how you feel.'

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

'It's an old work injury.'

Career Threatening Sport Injuries,

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

'Occupation?'

"We were all given motivational videos at work today. All it shows is our boss shouting and sacking people."

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'

'Mr. Jayson, get back into your bandages.'

'Chainsaw Championships.'

'Very funny!'

Football taunting man with a broken leg.

'He's got tennis viewer's elbow'

"Your birthday came at just the right time. I sprained my ankle this morning."

"You're doing fine, and we're cautiously optimistic about your insurance."

'Luckily, my iPod contains a set of 10 songs I'd like to listen to if I were stranded on an island.'

'I'm on the back stretch, about halfway down...I think it's a pulled hamstring.'

Pitchers arm falls off.

'The ligaments in both legs are torn to shreds. However, the drumsticks, thighs, wings and breasts should still be fine... either baked or fried.'

'It's his ankle - get some ice!!'

"Wonderful holiday! Two-weeks skiing really makes you feel like a new man!"

Don't tell me, you want another sick note!

Hell's Kitties

A women sound asleep on her exercise bike clutches an energy bar while the floor is littered with empty energy drinks, energy bars, and energy powder containers.

'We covered, officer. We're just having a hard time finding our insurance card.'

"Of course, this policy will exclude flood damage."

'No I won't kiss it better!'

'Swelling, Babcock, is our body's way of telling us that something's wrong. But if you insist on staying in the game, hey, it's your elbow.'

'I'd like to buy insurance to stop my insurance rates from going up.'