Ironic Tv Viewer Gifts

Angels watch hell on a flatscreen.

"Disgusting! She might as well have nothing on."

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

Man reading 'Bankruptcy for Dummies'.

AI Summit

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Kangaroo with a smoking baby.

"You'll find all the adult 'Dummies and Idiots' guide books in the children's section."

"I'm not sure what to watch...'Enterprise' or 'Sabado Gigante.'"

"I found another great book about living with less stuff."

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

And now it's time for "Critic's Corner." Today, Gene will criticize the basic structure of the universe.

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

"You've done some outstanding work in Public Relations, Benderman. Unfortunately, you work in Accounting.!

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

Success Without Effort

'Man, you are the first parole office to truly understand me.'

"And then one day, I had this revelation: Why not go public with my non-profit business and start making some big bucks?"

Church Parking

'I don't know why other people pray in school, but I pray in school because I'm not supposed to.'

'Look at the bum on that Wayne, is she that girl that worked at the Burger Shack?'

"Animal Liberation by Peter Singer"

End of the Pier Show

''60 Minutes' will not be seen tonight, because all our reporters seem to have gotten themselves locked up in a Turkish prison.'

'If they didn't want us around, how come they keep putting food out for us?"

'I thought I'd just crease a few book spines while I catch up on my soaps.'

"I've watched these workout videos for hours. They haven't helped."

Idiots guide to being an idiot.

Book: Reduced - Slightly Damaged

'It's true I'm homeless...that's why I want the loan.'

Marriage a la Mode - Toilette scene.