Ironic Phrase Collector Gifts

Nobody's perfect.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Historical memory is on life support.

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"Say hello to my little friend."

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

Girl to boy, 'Mom says don't play it again, Sam.'

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

Shakespeare Street

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

Larry's Literary Market

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"Is this a dagger I see before me?"

"I strongly encourage you Winds to 'roll with it'. I would hate to see you become part of the Gulf Stream... if you know what I mean."

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

"Carpe pizza"

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

'You can't win - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but ignorance is no excuse!'

'Can I have some of your peanut butter and jelly sandwich? All my mom ever gives me is cake.'

'Time and tide wait for no woman..'

"I owe all my success to the psychiatrist who gave me the word GREED as my mantra!"

"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, creeps in this pretty pace from day to day. To the last syllable of recorded time. . ."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.