Quirky Quote Collector Gifts

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

"Sure my first quote was less. That was before I found the body in the wall."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"Know what? I think we've reached a point in your therapy where you should just embrace the crazy."

"This is Godliness. Cleanliness is one door down."

'TB or not TB, that is the question.'

'Should I have a baby after 35?' 'Isn't 35 children enough?'

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

"I should warn you; suck people kind of freak me out."

Cedric instantly regretted 'pumping up the jam...'

"It's windy outside. I better not hear you've been hanging out in the grocery store parking lot."

"I wouldn't complain about the food too much if I were you. I'm the Birdman of Alcatraz, all I get is millet and if I'm really lucky a few berries!"

"Kevin, you're a zombie! You ate a brain for breakfast, lunch and dinner...and you still can't work this out?!"

"Trust me—sex sells."

"Can I help you find or lose something?"

Don't give up - Surrender.

At a caf? the special board says 'Today's special - take it, or leave it.'

Have A Nice Day (offer void where prohibited by law)

We hav ways of making u txt.

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

The Month of June

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Historical memory is on life support.

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

"Oh, this old thing?"

"Say hello to my little friend."

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

Girl to boy, 'Mom says don't play it again, Sam.'

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.