Funny Quote Collector Gifts

Dear diary, Today I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. Well, not really. I just said that to get your attention. But I did knock a spider into the bathtub just to watch him drown.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Historical memory is on life support.

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"Say hello to my little friend."

"Oh, this old thing?"

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

Girl to boy, 'Mom says don't play it again, Sam.'

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

"I feel a great disturbance in The Force."

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

Shakespeare Street

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

"...Accept finite disappointment, but NEVER LOSE INFINITE HOPE."

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

"Is this a dagger I see before me?"

Larry's Literary Market

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

"I strongly encourage you Winds to 'roll with it'. I would hate to see you become part of the Gulf Stream... if you know what I mean."

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"Hahahaha doctor, I guess I'll see you in a week

The Quotable Ben Franklin. To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals. And not flying thy kite during thunderstorms might help, too!

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

'You can't win - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but ignorance is no excuse!'