Ironic Love Story Fans Pillows

'Hm, single female w/ wedding dress seeks serious relationship...'

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

Revenge Graffiti.

'Actually, I became a psychiatrist because the voices told me to.'

Tycoon on beach listens to "office sounds" on CD player

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

Gigolo Diary

Equal opportunities inspector "I hear he got his job because he knew someone"

'Waiter. Tonight, we're pulling out all the stops! Get her the steak special and I'll have the pork chops.'

'I like reading romance novels: They always leave me with a warm feeling inside...'

'I don't get it. He had the smallest paws in the whole litter.'

Fairy Tales Can Come True

'A most powerful, moving and scary book - botanists will love it!'

'You're more than just a number to us, Hawkins, we see you as a real person...one with a poor work ethic and a tendency toward insubordination!'

'You really shouldn't eat food that are out of season.'

'I hate these romance cruises.'

'Apparently my ex's idea of heaven was to punch me in the eye.'

'Edna always wore rubber gloves while reading romance novels.'

'She looks good because it's not natural. It's all plastic.'

The Last Place on Earth

Violence in schools has increased

Vanilla Ice Cream a la Mode.

'Talk about being madly in love. I went with him for six months before I realized he was a space alien.'

"Harumph. Some 'sailor man.'"

'Why do people always assume I download my music illegally?'

She left Friday. He noticed Tuesday, when all the clean towels ran out.

'He's been in here all day looking for trouble.'