Romantic Satire Fans Pillows

"...You don't look a day over 50 million!"

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"Yes ... no!"

In my day, they didn

'If you really loved me, you'd stay downwind.'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

'We're not following the poodle home.'

Revenge Graffiti.

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

Fresh Lobster

"He's a mental-health critic."

"I love you, even though you still use a flip phone."

Well, I didn't know he was a dragon when I met him online!

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

Hamlet.

"Owww!! Yes, that hurts!"

"Slimey, what a lovely name."

'Don't you just love them when they do that?'

Love Birds.

Not tonight I'm washing my hair.

The City of Eden…in Fact - Martin Outside the 'Office' of Chuzzlewit & Co

'Apparently my ex's idea of heaven was to punch me in the eye.'

Type that up, make ten million copies and then shred them.

'The full moon is so romantic, isn't it?'

'I'm surprised to see you here. You appear to have a storybook marriage.'

If they chat, fall in love and move in together, I call dibs on sleeping between them on the bed.

"It's appendicitis, madam. No need, at this point, to pull the plug."

"Hmmm, yes, nice meeting you, but I can see that your online photo has been heavily edited..."