Romantic Satire Enthusiast Pillows

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

Randy, you're going to represent Rudy in our private relationship matter? I've been retained. That's outrageous. He can speak for himself. He has. By choosing me as his representative. So you're his stand-in. Well, what if I feel like giving Rudy a big kiss right now? Hey! What's good for the goose, baby. I may lower my fee.

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'Sorry, but my car is a hybrid and I wouldn't accept anything less in a husband.'

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

The Notre Dame Five Year Restoration Plan Swing Into Action.

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

Prison Romance.

"This mask is a bit of a passion killer. . . !"

The Modern Damocles -

"It's perfect! You're a government redactor, and I'm a broadcast network word bleeper."

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

'No. It's not a past girlfriend. I'm a tort lawyer.'

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

ENNUI...(smiley face).

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

'Alright, let's do this.'

"You've reached Randy, the dating doctor. What ails you?"

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'Of course cutting back on this level of bureaucracy will require a lot of work...'

It was love at first...

'Honey, it's me! If you want to marry me, please press 1!'

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

Valentine man in underpants.

Art Vandalism

Hamlet.

The fat boy awake again

'Never to be seen again!"

"What was it that attracted you to me, Harold?..."

'A role model? Yes, I suppose he was. Everywhere he went, people would say 'That's Bill Fenton... You don't want to be that guy!''

101 Positions/101 Excuses

Credible evidence!